Thriving Through College Admissions Decisions: Celebrating Victories and Coping with Disappointment

ByAimee Heller
A photo illustrating International College Counselors offering advice for parents on supporting their student through college admissions decisions.

Navigating college admissions decisions generates a mix of emotions—excitement, anticipation, and disappointment. Embrace the highs, acknowledge the lows, and maintain a positive outlook. Whether your student’s acceptance letter arrives with confetti or their dream school says no, it’s essential to navigate these emotions with resilience and optimism. Remember, these college admissions decisions are stepping stones, not the final destination.

Below are some insights from International College Counselors on managing expectations and handling disappointments related to college admissions decisions. Know too, college admission decisions aren’t generally over until the end of March! Here are the college admissions decision release dates for 2024.

Whether you are a current client of ICC or not, if your child needs extra help with their college applications, an International College Counselors advisor will help your family explore available options, evaluate your student’s college application, tweak their essay/s as necessary, and review new college choices.

Managing Expectations

1. Set a Positive Tone: The admission decisions will be arriving between now and April, so there’s time. Before you even hear from all the schools, express sincere pride in your child’s accomplishments. Highlight their hard work, dedication, and growth throughout high school. Emphasize that regardless of the outcomes, they have reached a significant milestone and are on the brink of an exciting new phase in life.

2. Offer Ongoing Support: Acknowledge that this is a stressful, challenging time for all involved. Reassure your child that their value and potential extend far beyond the colleges’ decision letters. Encourage them to embrace this phase as a learning experience, shaping their resilience and adaptability.

Coping with Disappointment

1. Allow Space for Emotions: If your child’s application was turned down or deferred, create a safe space for them to express their feelings. Listen attentively and validate their emotions. Use this opportunity to guide them in processing disappointment; it’s a good lesson in navigating setbacks and being open-minded to the many different opportunities that lie ahead.

2. Maintain Perspective: While being accepted into a dream college is exciting, remind your child (maybe 24 hours after the news) that this is just one step in a much longer journey. Highlight that success is in no way determined by a college’s decision. Reiterate that life offers various pathways and that each experience contributes to their growth and success.

3. Emphasize Non-Personalization: Explain that a denied or deferred application isn’t a reflection of a student’s character or capabilities. Colleges make subjective decisions based on various factors that do not reflect an applicant’s worth. The college is trying to fulfill its particular priorities in building each year’s class. Explain that sometimes a “no” might lead to a better fit elsewhere, offering unique opportunities for growth and development.

4. Express Gratitude: Take a moment to express gratitude to those who supported your child throughout the application process. Acknowledge the pivotal role played by teachers, mentors, and other influencers. Encourage your child to show appreciation for the guidance and encouragement they received.

5. Stress Coping Strategies: Teach your child valuable coping mechanisms to manage stress and disappointment constructively. Encourage healthy activities such as exercise, meditation, or creative outlets to help alleviate any anxiety or disappointment.

Embracing Opportunities

1. Celebrate Achievements: Celebrate every college acceptance, regardless of the institution. Discuss with your child how they’d like to share this news, respecting their feelings and considering the impact on others. Emphasize the significance of their accomplishment and the excitement of the opportunities ahead.

2. Focus on Personal Development: Shift the focus from college rankings or what the neighbors think to personal growth. Encourage your child to seek experiences that foster personal and academic development.

3. End on a Positive Note: After the admissions decisions are finalized, celebrate the culmination of this intense period in a way that suits your family. Foster positivity and a sense of accomplishment to transition smoothly into the next phase.

Looking Ahead

1. Keep Transfer Options in Mind: While not the initial plan, discuss the option of transferring if needed. But remember to emphasize the importance of fully embracing the college experience regardless of the institution initially chosen. Encourage your child to approach their college journey with an open mind and positive attitude.

2. Consult International College Counselors: Regular Decision deadlines are fast approaching, but there’s still time! Get extra help for your student’s college applications. Utilize our ICC expertise to navigate these decisions and your options effectively.

Wishing all students the best of luck with their college admissions decisions!

International College Counselors

No matter where your family is in the college admissions process, International College Counselors can help you with every aspect, including adding to the college list, honing college applications, writing admissions essays, and managing college transfers. Call us at 954-414-9986 to discuss how we can support you and your family!